Oh, how I love the unfettered soul!

Manitou Springs Carnivale parade!

I posted some photos from yesterday’s Carnivale parade in Manitou on Not My Tribe’s Facebook page. Very colorful! Go see!

Free Hugs Day makes me melancholy

This video makes me teary-eyed every time I see it. We Americans are taught that we're strong and independent, so very grown up, but in reality many of us are isolated not only from each other, but from ourselves and our need for human connection and physical touch. There's no strength in that really.

When I was in Argentina last year, it was clear that they're not physically uptight like we are. Everywhere I went people greeted each other with warm hugs and kisses to the cheeks; even the men were comfortable embracing and kissing each other. I felt like a childish prudish nitwit which made me sad.

Today is Free Hugs Day, so grab someone who seems really standoffish and hold on until you feel her relax and, in my case, start to cry.

Playmobil tyranny toys

The kids and I are big fans of Playmobil toys. We have bins and bins of Playmobil: people, furnishings, clothing and accessories, plants, animals, and a variety of dwellings and vehicles. We have the Victorian doll house set up on the fireplace hearth, where it has been for more than a decade and still draws the attention of at least one child every day. Even the teenagers manage to make imaginative use of the toys in high school class projects. Their odd Playmobil videos are eagerly anticipated by their classmates; the most recent was the nearly unbearable "Great Expectations meets Nanny 911."

Whenever Playmobil comes out with new toys, the kids empty their piggy banks and hurry to Little Richard's Toy Store. Not this time. Our beloved Playmobil has decided to exploit the global war on terror for profit with Playmobil Security Checkpoint and Playmobil Police Checkpoint.

Playmobil may never have deserved my high esteem. I'd noticed over the years there were no people of color in any of the toy sets. The figures were always European-looking whites, excepting the dark-skinned crooks found within the Police Station set. When the company finally, probably at the urging of many, came out with some black figures, they came isolated in a box, never as part of a set, like the company was being made to do something distasteful. "Good GOD, okay, HERE! Now shut up!"

I'm not sure how children will interpret the new Playmobil toys. The police checkpoint -- two small plastic characters and accessories with a total shipping weight of 8 ounces -- costs $99. The intended market is quite obviously rich white kids who are likely unfamiliar with police intimidation. I'd like to imagine my children would hunt through our bins until they found a dark-skinned family who would be stopped at the police checkpoint. Shortly, a sports car full of white guys carrying tiny handcrafted Constitutions would pull up and accuse the cops of racial profiling. Across the imaginary street some long-haired hippie sorts would be carrying toothpick flags calling for social justice.

I read some customer reviews on Amazon and it looks like I'm not the only parent disturbed by Playmobil's new tyranny toys.

First:

This playset is one of the best purchases I have made for my three-year-old. In the past, when we have been stopped at roadblocks, or when during one of Daddy's arrests, he would start crying uncontrollably. Now, after playing with this for the past several months, he is perfectly docile.

Next:

I was pretty pumped to get this model. After my Leviathan teddy-bear burst at the seams and my Guantanamo slip and slide tore into several pieces, I was looking for a petty distraction as durable as state tyranny itself.

Finally, I found the Playmobil Police Checkpoint. It's everything a colorful plastic method of indoctrination should be: mobile, plastic, and filled with red warning signs. I love setting it up outside my house. That way I feel like I have to show papers to get in. I know I own it, but it's cooler if the state lets me in. They know best.

And:

This toy lacks the realism for my children to play.
It has no Brown or Black figures to stop at the Check Point
My son is unable to "randomly search" no one (he knows white kids don't carry dope).
It lacks both (simulated of course) crack cocaine and/or heroin that my Little Police figures can "find" on the little Brown or Black figurines
In addition, it lacks a Breathalyzer my son can use to set up "Random" road blocks at 3 a.m. down the street from the local Pub.

I'll wait on the expansion pack that includes Leroy the Guilty until proved Innocent Lamont and Rodriquez--I'm here legally but left my Green card at home--Lopez.

My favorite:

Finally a toy that gets our kids used to living in a police state. Benjamin Franklin said that those who would give up Essential Liberty to purchase a little Temporary Safety, deserve neither Liberty nor Safety. But then again, he lived in France for awhile, so what did he know about anything.

Before this toy came out I was afraid my son would not know how to cope with the new reality of American life; how to prepare him to the future, I was wondering. Boy am I relieved; so many lessons learned! Now he knows that:

1) Some people can make a decent living treating others like cattle, and the best part: the cattle is paying their salaries.
2) You only have the rights that the government gives you; you can move around the country only if you comply with government regulations, no matter how frivolous they might be. No liquid you say? except if in a ziplock bag? Check. Lighter ok because the cigarette lobby fought the no-lighter rule? Swell. All passengers searched but cargo mostly un-scrutinized? No problem.
3) You should always bow to people in uniforms, even though they might be in this job because they could not qualify for police work (because of the rap sheet or the drug abuse).

Unfortunately, this toy comes short in a few areas:
1) It does not show that if you're rich, you don't have to wait in line for hours. If you can travel first class, you get your own fast-track screening. Too bad the terr'ists have plenty of Saudi and Pakistani cash and can easily travel first class should they want to. They should have included another screening set in the box.
2) It does not come with the 300 tired-looking playmobils you would need to show the passengers waiting in line behind the screening area.

However, it does some things very well: for instance, the screening apparatus is not actually functional. This represents faithfully the actual TSA system, which, every time it is tested or audited, fails to catch anything (weapons, even bombs).

So, thank you Playmobil. I hope they will expand their product offering and give us more toys that can help our children prepare for the new reality of a much safer America; specifically, I am eagerly waiting for the Staline-style Guantanamo American gulag set, the North-Korean-style CIA water-boarding set, the KGB-style NSA phone-tapping set. Some people will whine about the loss of their civil liberties, but my son knows that the North-Korean are some of the safest people in the world. They had virtually no fear of terrorists.

Alas, Little Richard's isn't carrying either Playmobil set. I checked.

Into the light

Freeze a jolly good fellow

A highlight of the Christmas season every year is gathering my big family together under one roof -- my children, my parents, five siblings and their spouses, and twelve (thirteen by year's end!) nieces and nephews. Everyone is married now, save me and the kids, but I can recall many a holiday when new boy- or girlfriends were part of the celebration.

Tales of our past houseguests poke edgewise into at least one family conversation every year. Each of these dear departed-from-us souls has left behind fond memories, and I imagine that we've provided them with a few stories as well. Like how my sisters and I share a secret language of syllables and partial thoughts that no one can follow, not even our mother. Or how all three of my brothers-in-law swill too much grog every year and end up running naked through whatever neighborhood we're in, losing wallets and shoes and sustaining minor injuries in the imponderable annual ritual.

It's no wonder that the poor dears rarely returned the following year. It isn't that we didn't want to bring them into the fold; we did, and we tried. "Once when Joey was in first grade and I was in fifth, she went to a different school than the rest of us because we'd just moved back here from Topeka and there wasn't room at DR so I walked her to school and one of our friends, whose parents were Irish. . ." But with stories flying and a lifetime of shared experiences providing the framework, the new loves found themselves smack in the middle of what must've seemed to be a verbal maelstrom.

Occasionally my younger brother Andy would attempt interaction through the use of punnery. I know this was a friendly overture to our visitors because the entire family, so far as I can tell, despises puns, mostly because of him. When I was in high school, 11-year-old Andy -- redheaded, bespectacled, buck-toothed Andy -- would hang about ten feet away from my friends and interject punny witticisms whenever he could. My friends laughed (laughed!) at his horrid intrusions which would incense me. "Mom! Andy is bugging us! He's telling stupid jokes again!" My mom would admonish him, much too kindly to satisfy me, "Andy, sweetie, leave the big girls alone, and stop making puns. People hate puns."

Punnitry, for those who've been spared the exposure, is largely the trick of compacting two or more ideas within a single word or expression. It's wordplay at its most punitive. To wit: Punnery is a rewording experience, especially around Christmas time. That's when people exchange hellos and good buys with each other, the time of year when every girl wants her past forgotten and her presents remembered, the time of year when mothers have to separate the men from the toys.

Yes, that kind of punnishment.

Studies have shown a correlation between punderstanding and sound intellect, so the dumb jokes aren't really so dumb. Puns are found in many of Shakespeare's plays and in the Bible, more proof that they appeal to the lofty among us. Still, I loathe puns, which must be evidence that I'm not particularly clever, or so the punnits would have me believe.

This year will be only family and there will surely be a shortage of dumb jokes around the table. To take the heat off poor punmeister Andy, I'm going to surprise my family with a few holiday puns of my own. I won't trouble you with the three pages I've amassed so far but, trust me, much pun will be had this year. Enough to satisfy everyone for years and years to come, I can only hope.

So, Meretricious to all! And don't forget that There's No Plate Like Chrome for the Hollandaise!

Rocky Mountain medicine

Political language -- and with variations this is true of all political parties, from Conservatives to Anarchists -- is designed to make lies sound truthful and murder respectable, and to give an appearance of solidity to pure wind. One cannot change this all in a moment, but one can at least change one's own habits, and from time to time one can even. . .cocoon for long periods of time, away from televisions and computers, to spare oneself the exquisite torture of an American Presidential Election.
~George Orwell and Marie Walden

Am I happy Obama won? Yes. Do I think he'll bring significant change? No. The tender-hearted idealist in me is buried under mountains of rhetoric, hyperbole and outright bullshit.

I'm emerging slowly, squinting at the sun, trying to find Pollyanna.

Big Brother

iPhone memories

As one who doesn’t like to leave the house much, I am a big fan of the internet. In truth, I can hardly speak a negative word about it. The web has given us unfettered access to news and information, consumer goods, visions pleasing to the eye, sounds pleasing to the ear, easy communication one step removed. I can’t say I miss a single thing about the “good ol’ days.” Except waiting in line for concert tickets.

I love live music. I’ve been to zillions of concerts. In fact, I am going to a 2-day concert event in Denver this weekend. The headliners are Tom Petty and the Dave Matthews Band (woot! woot!). Over the years I’ve seen the Stones, the Who, the Grateful Dead, Elton John, Bob Dylan, Pink Floyd, Bruce Springsteen, James Taylor, Michael Jackson — the list goes on and on. And, so I don’t date myself too closely, I’ve even seen ‘N Sync and James Blunt.

Raised in an environment of easy internet access, my poor darling children have never had to stand in line for anything. Until last week when the new iPhone was to be released. After I made the big mistake of describing the many reasons I was considering an iPhone purchase, they decided that their future health and happiness was predicated on having 16GB iPhones. With no advice from me, they decided that they had to get to the store very early or risk failure.

They got to the AT&T store at 1 a.m. They were 22nd and 23rd in line. By the time Eric and I arrived shortly before 8, there were 100 people in line. There were camping chairs and coolers, even a gas grill. Decks of cards, pop cans and water bottles, fast food litter. I imagine there were a few dead soldiers (uh, empty beer containers) although I didn’t see any. The atmosphere was convivial. The camaraderie palpable.

They allowed people into the store 6 at a time. As each lucky buyer emerged, a bright orange AT&T bag signaling victory, their fellow consumers clapped and yelled in celebration.

We (read: they) left with our iPhones at 8:30. I later read that they’d sold out in 40 minutes — many campers went home empty-handed. But my two lucky ducks were thrilled with their phones, made all the more precious by the procurement experience.

Sock hop night!

I just started playing around with Photoshop and, as you can see, I need a tutorial!

Still, it's pretty awesome.

I am going to get really really good at it. I am.

My sister and Rush!

My sister, Suzy, and her hubby have been Rush fans for as long as I can remember. Not just kinda sorta fans, but like MAJOR MAJOR fly-to-wherever-they-are-playing fans. Even name-your-firstborn-son-Geddy fans.

Here is the pièce de résistance (well, maybe not) of their years of loyal fanship: a picture of them with Geddy Lee and Alex Lifeson in Albuquerque. Woot, woot!



-----

Hiking Waldo Canyon, Colorado

Sometimes the only thing standing between me and complete despondency is the mountain.

My fellow bloggers have endless energy to tackle important issues -- homelessness, hunger, war, politics, environment, media, government, healthcare, torture, death. The list is depressing and endless. I admire them, but I am not made of steel like they are. I am more a fragile flower and, when buried under humanity's toxic waste and cut off from nature's largesse, I wither very quickly.

For me, the correlation between physical and mental energy is 1:1. So, rather than blog or read the Sunday paper today, I hiked Waldo Canyon!

A bit about the hike:
Heading west on Highway 24, you'll find the trailhead on the right side just past the Manitou Springs exit. The Waldo Canyon loop is seven miles of easy trekking and amazing views. The scenery, especially the view of Pikes Peak, is the best reason to do this hike. In my opinion, seven miles of easy hiking is about four miles too many. I like to earn my relaxation with a couple miles of sheer hellish exertion.

I suppose if I were a runner -- and there were quite a few of them beginning to train for the Pikes Peak Ascent -- I might feel differently. Nonetheless, the cool weather, beautiful vistas, and proximity to the serious runner crowd made for an excellent Sunday morning!

Please don't tell me what world news I've missed. Let me just enjoy my tired muscles and slightly sunburned shoulders until I've finished sorting my photos. The horrid world can wait for me today.

Hiking Section 16, Colorado Springs

Today my best chum, Kiwi, her kooky new Weimaraner, Raven, and I hiked our favorite trail. Section 16, part of Manitou Springs Trails and Open Space, is an area of old-growth pine forest, babbling brooks, awesome rock formations and outstanding views of the city and the Garden of the Gods.

The hike we took -- the Palmer Red Rock Loop -- is a six-mile trek, reasonably difficult for the first hour (all uphill), and then open vistas and easy sailing the rest of the way.

Yay! Spring hiking has arrived! Me so happy!

Julia's senior prom!

Lara's spring dance!

The mosquito ringtone

My little girls just shared an amazing secret with me. High frequency mosquito ringtones are being used by kids to receive calls and text messages in school, movie theaters, the dinner table, and other off-limit locales. Most adults over 30 can't hear the ringtones due to presbycusis, a fancy medical term for old ears. The piercing sounds were originally used by British shopkeepers to keep loitering teens at bay, but kids have discovered how to use the teen repellent to their advantage. So clever!
 
The kids and I tried this over and over at different frequencies. I couldn't hear anything except their squeals of laughter.
 
This is supposed to be a great boon for teens. But with a household of cell-toting young ones, it sounds like a win-win to me!




-----